Floraish

I’m really happy. And tired. Mostly happy though.

Last night I got to make dinner for Steve! I was quite torn between doing my teriyaki salmon (a proven hit) with baby bok choy OR something new. So I decided I would go to the supermarket and see if the salmon was fresh or not before making the final decision. Turns out they didn’t even have any of the boneless skinned fillets! Ugh. Quick. What else to do? Well I did have an earlier craving for potato bake, so I decided to make that as my side and a honey mustard chicken dish. Both turned out sooooooo well! Steve was very impressed I think. He even had enough leftovers for lunch. So it was good We ended up watching Sleepy Hollow - very creepy movie. I don’t like scary movies. I wasn’t able to sleep much at all last night.

I didn’t see Steve tonight; I had a really long day and we’re both quite busy. I have an essay due this Friday which I started today. So that was, uh, interesting. I guess I work better under stress. Though I don’t really feel stressed. Maybe I just function well with deadlines. Debating whether or not I want to go into uni again tomorrow just to avoid the distractions of home and work some more. Obviously if I don’t go, then I have to do serious work. I wish I had the hindsight to start this during the holidays. Oh well. Too busy enjoying them I suppose. On another note; my stupid CRIM2001 workbook only got 12.5/30! WHAT? I swear there has to be some mistake. That’s not even 50%. How could I have gotten so low? Argh. I better not be getting too complacent.

Another rant. Stupid UQ Subway is not participating in the $7 Sub deal (which includes my all time favourite - Pizza Sub!). I am hellaciously upset! Not only that, but all their subs cost more than average! Hello? Uni students are POOR! So I boycotted them and did another bakery trip and got the trusty $2.10 sausage roll. Ahhh they haven’t failed me yet. Stupid UQ Union putting a Subway on campus. Thought they were meant to rule the Union with an iron fist! Obviously not.

2PM Friday afternoon. Bliss.

Kind of looking forward to the weekend; kind of not. I’m just so over this week. Every day has been exactly the same. Wake. Work. Break. Work. Sleep. Rinse and repeat. Sure got some plans in the mix; but it feels like everybody around me especially Steve; is more than a life away. Oh well.

Did some business today. Turns out a lot of my Caboolture friends are doing quite well for themselves and buying houses and such. Yes, plural. I got into contact with my once friend and turns out he has been too lazy to find himself a mortgage broker. Wow, how handy that I just happened to pop up. Turns out he is quite the successful carpenter and is looking to buy a house. Hello dollar $igns. But yes, we have exchanged details, going to keep in contact and he will be passing my number onto his other well to do friends. So I hope.

In lighter news, Alma Park Zoo has just received a pair of red pandas. So cute. First in Queensland; however some lameo biosecurity law prevents them from being a mating pair. So they’re two brothers. Still so cute, but my real dream is to see Giant Pandas. Eventually I want to go to every single major zoo in the world. Heh. One day.

So many things, where to begin?

Well here’s some awesome news; I’ve lost weight and currently weigh in at 60.3 kg. Impressed? I am.

What else? In other news, I guess I am working too much and not having too much time for other stuff. Sure it’s frustrating but I’m not too phased (or going to let it affect my relationship with Steve in any way *unresolved issues*). Life is busy and it’s a good thing I suppose. Time keeps rolling forward and brighter, better things are just around the corner.

Uni finishes soon. I’m currently on mid semester break and then it will only be another 8 weeks before completion. God. It’s almost scary. I have applied for a job with the QPS; so hopefully I will hear back soon, but no rush. The job market looks to be quite volatile at the moment. I must admit I am a bit worried as I only really have one speciality when it comes to formal qualifications. I suppose Finance could be a back up option, but not one I’m jumping for joy at the thought of.

Business is good. This week my final shipment of stock came in, so this Sunday should be an awesome day of trading, providing the weather isn’t being indecisive again. How annoying. But yes, selling can be fun! As so enthusiastically advertised on the back of every Market entry ticket. It is fun!

Just last week the one time stallholder next to me sold me some real awesome bargains. I picked up a Crumpler bag for the bargain basement price of $7! She was practically giving it away! It was insane. Anyways, I ended up buying that and another bag. It was a Sachi full leather messenger. Very, very cute. I tried to find a picture of it, but to no avail. I might just take a photo of it later on, but I am very happy with it. At first she had it labelled for $25 (still very reasonable given the brand and condition) but she offered it to be for just $20. I almost said yes but there were some people at my stall so I had to go back and I kinda got so busy I forgot about it until we were both packing up and she asked me to make an offer on the bag. At first I was a bit hesitant to insult her with a low offer and I casually said I’d give her $10 and that’s how much she sold it to me for!!! Awesome!

On the subject of relationships; Steve and I are good. I think I’ve kinda taken a bit of a backseat and am not so driven to be girlfriend of the year anymore. Things have been quite busy for the both of us and I don’t see that ending anytime soon. Just need to learn how to deal. We had a really good Easter where we spent most of Good Friday and Easter Monday together; eating, sleeping; Bettying; shopping; sleeping, eating. We’re so great but I just can’t help but still want more. It’s easy to say that you don’t; but I do. Maybe not right now; or in the forseeable future, but eventually I do. I think it’s just a girl thing. And him not wanting it (as explained ‘in the next 5, 10 or even 20 years’) is just a guy thing. It makes me feel a bit better I guess. Women are just preprogrammed to be gathers and men are meant to be the hunters. 2000+ years of life hasn’t changed that fact; probably won’t now. But we’re still good.

All is well.

Nobody needed to die for a cause or give up anything.

Last night was.. really good. I’m really proud of myself for having such a conversation without any tears. Things because much clearer and it enabled me to carry on a decent, mature conversation and it let me articulate my thoughts without blubbering like a whale through waves of sniffling, snot nosed blowing and tissue throwing (yes, that was me).

I feel very happy today. Like I don’t have anything to worry about anymore - no more insecurities for me.

Clarity? I love him and he loves me

Well I’ve had a couple of really good weekends.

The weekend before last, Steve and I went to Underwater World, it was my surprise birthday outing. So fun checking out all the animals and whatnot. Steve had never actually been there and it had been about 15 years since I was last there, so why not? Seal show was the best!

The weekend just gone, we finally went and saw the Watchmen. It was a very, very long movie. Kinda epic. I liked it but I felt a lot of unanswered questions were left for me as I hadn’t read the graphic novel (ten years ago!). On Sunday was my first day setting up my market stall. It was pretty busy. Made a nice chunk of coin for myself. But it would be a month of early starts before I make back all my outlay. Lex and Erin came along and spent the day sitting with me in the hot and windy sun. Best friends.

Kinda writing in broken sentences because I keep feeling this angst building up. It’s been there since last night but I don’t want to say anything to ruin how good Steve and I have bounced back from crap* since.

It’s probably all just me being insecure, but I know what I saw and I know what I read and I know how he acted to brush me off and get me to leave the room. I’m pretty sure I know how it will play out if I continue not to say anything… BUT I’m going to do it differently and have some faith in the person I love so dearly; not his fault if people are being inappropriate. Right? He should know how to handle it and we can just continue being together uninterrupted.

*indicates we had several discussions.

FINALLY!

A total mixed bag of a week! But it was mainly good! Let’s see.. well I finally got around to doing my CRIM2000 and HMST1023 assignments this week. I started them on Monday and finished them last night, ready for submission this morning. I really feel like I could’ve done better and they weren’t up to my usual standard, but I’m happy to have completed them in such a short time frame nonetheless.

I guess I spent a lot of time worry about other people I forgot about my own crap. Which was naughty, but seriously, I wasn’t stressed out at all. In fact, I distinctly remember feeling stressed out when I sat down and tried to write something back in December. Weird. Maybe I just work better on a tight schedule.

Well having fully ignored the gym this week, I fully plan on going tomorrow and sweating it out. A week of rest and poor eating routines have left me feeling a bit sluggish, but it shouldn’t take me long to get right back into it.

Steve and I are really good. Small hiccough (on my end I suppose) a week or two back, but all sorted. Just need an open mind to keep some clarity and rationality. We are meeting tomorrow for a day of fun, what we’re doing I don’t know, but rest assured it’s going to be awesome.

Now nothing to do but just chillax until exams are on. Oh oh oh! My CRIM2000 exam is on the morning of me flying down to Melbourne for the weekend, so that will be fun. Lucky too since it could’ve been the day after and on a Saturday! PHEW

So some goals for the year

• Don’t jump to conclusions

I have an unfortunate habit of seeing something and jumping to all the wrong conclusions. It’s truly amazing how fast the brain actually works when determining whether to take something you see at face value or making up some truly far fetched reason to get angry or some sort of negative attitude towards said incident. Funny how I never see anything and jump to good conclusions though.

• Don’t get easily upset/mad/jealous

Another unfortunate habit which seems to correlate with jumping to negative conclusions. Otherwise I’m cool, relaxed and chilled out most of the time. Time to lose those insecurities for the new year.

• Don’t binge drink

Says it all, really.

• Keep up the good work at the gym!

Well I am doing really well. Bar the last two weeks, I’ve been a regular 4 sessions a week at the gym. It’s good because I can finally see some noticeable changes. So I have to keep up this regular maintenance.

• Graduate uni

I don’t think this is too much to ask. After being a year behind everybody, I will be graduating after semester one 2009. Of course, this is possible through Summer semester. It’ll be good to finally put on the robe and the ridiculous but symbolic mortarboard (the square hat for the uneducated). And it’ll be Winter! Having been to a Summer graduation, I can say that this should be much more comfortable. Oh yeah, I planned it.

I think that’s about it. They’re not too specific, though not too vague. Here’s hoping I get it

Welcome to 2009!

Today feels like a Sunday. Mainly because I went out last night, drank too much, fell over and woke up with a hangover. It was a good party. I’m really struggling to say it was anything more. I mean, it was good, don’t get me wrong; regrettably, I wish there wasn’t as much competitive element to the ‘all you can drink’ drinks package. Alcohol makes people do funny things. Actually there was a great thing was, I welcomed the new year in with a big cliche ’sweep me off my feet’ midnight kiss from Steve. So you just know 2009 is going to be great

Tomorrow Steve and I are meeting for breakfast and then going to Dreamworld! It’s going to be a great day!

Side notes: My dad is the best dad ever in the whole world. When I couldn’t be bothered catching a bus home, he came all the way into the city, then over the other side to the Regatta and picked me up. At 2AM NYE. How awesome is he? And no complaints. Best dad ever.

..but first, a rant.

So the last few experiences I have had with fast food ‘restaurants’ have been shit. Actually, unbelievably shit. I mean, sure you go in with low expectations to begin with because let’s face it, multinational billion dollar companies choose to hire 15 year old bums with absolute zero understanding of customer service; but even after all this, I’m still getting terrible service and food quality. I mean, maybe because I worked at fast food and prided myself on doing a good job and back then, work ethic and morale wasn’t at an all time low, sure you get a few bad apples, but the whole fucking store including the manager? Come on!

Case in point: At a well known fast food chain which I won’t care to mention (but starts with Mc and ends in Donalds), I waited in their drive thru queue for over 15 minutes. For two shakes. TWO MEASLY FUCKING MILKSHAKES. Why didn’t I get out of my car and go into the restaurant? Because they have some shitty rule in place that they only have skeleton staff during graveyard and everybody goes through the drive thru. Even people walking, yes, those wankers. In fact, they were the ones holding up the line. Stoners probably feeling the munchies and ordering 15 burgers each. Fuckers. By the time I finally get my shake, they’re not even the right flavour and they were served to me with a grunt. Sigh. Other tidbits, which I can’t be bothered raging about, but this has caused me to reconsider my already limited visits there to be non existent.

ANYWAYS

Christmas is over! So are Boxing Day sales. Bring on NYE!

This year Erin, Steve, Deegan and I are going to the Regatta for their NYE Moulin Rouge party.

Should be a good night. Original plans WERE to go to Rydges and rock their rooftop party, it’s on level 12 and would’ve had eye level fireworks. Sigh. Oh well. Still get to go out and dress up

Side note: Can’t stop listening to Empire of the Sun. God damn catchiness!