Floraish

So I’m a little upset about one thing.

Amidst all this happy stuff going on, I can feel one negative thing happening - I’m gaining weight. Unwanted weight. It’s really terrible. It’s this terrible weather, it’s going out to eat every second day, it’s stress, it’s being comfortable, it’s everything! I step on the scales once a week and in the last month I’ve gained about 5kg. I was only ever just borderline acceptable before the weight gain, now I’m a fucking buttertroll. You think I’m exaggerating, and I probably am, but this is all how I feel. I feel so worthless, so hopeless, and so ugly.

Oh god, Steve would be disgusted and put off. I feel like such a whale. Bloated and beached. I never feel like doing anything, and I’m always tired. I can’t keep up with him. He’s always fit and exercising, I’m just too damn time poor to do anything about it.

I fucking hate it. I had a shower tonight and was revolted at the sight of my own body. It’s out of shape, it’s wobbly and parts jiggle. I’m really upset. I’ve never really had many body image issues, but for some reason I can’t stop hating on my body right now. Maybe I’m getting my period. Yes, that could be it. I can’t imagine why I’d be so emo otherwise.

Great, now I’m a fat, emo and (possible) menstruating girl.